Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Hunting thoughts of super powers!

Remington doing his tummy time!
When you become a mother there is nothing in this world you would not do for your child, you know from the moment you find out you are pregnant you will do anything for the health and happiness of your baby. I remember sitting on my bed when I was about seven months pregnant promising my unborn baby that there is nothing I would not do for his health and happiness. I sometimes wish there was more I could do to make this promise come true for Remington. I know that he has such a long road ahead of him and sometimes I find myself focusing on all the things that COULD happen to my baby, all the things that COULD take my sweet child away from me and sometimes these thought over power all the good roads that lay ahead. I always feel guilty for feeling this way but sometimes I just would like to know why this should be Remington's life(even though I know he is a gift from the lord)! Why should he have to bear such a great burden.
best cuddle partner!
 Tonight as I sat here holding Remington watching my favorite t.v. show (Parenthood) lots of thoughts started to come into my head. How come Remington has been given to us? What did we do so right to be given such and amazing spirit? Why does his life have to come with so many challenges? What will happen if Remington ends up getting something serious? Can we go through this again? What can I do to stop any pain my child might have to go through? Even though I try not to let the "What if's" thoughts bring me down sometimes they get the best of me! Now do not get me wrong the thoughts of all the fun we will have and already have with Remington out weight the bad thoughts by along shoot. Yet as any mother would,  I do fear what lays ahead for my baby. I sometimes have a hard time putting him down in his crib because I never want to let him go in fear of what tomorrow might bring. Sometimes I cover him in kisses just in case someday I don't get to give him anymore. I sometimes wonder what I will do the first day that Remington figures out he is just a little different. How that conversation will be handled by Dallen and I, that thought puts me in tears every single time I think about it. What mom or dad ever wants to tell there child they are different? Yet I know he will be smart and he will figure it all out for himself.  In our eyes Remington is the greatest thing since ham fried rice!  We will always do our best to make his life the very best we can, even on the rough days! I know that time will help prepare us for this challenge and all the challenges to come. I just wish I could have a glimpse into the future to prepare myself for all that might lay ahead for Remington. Although I know this is how I would be even if Remington did not have Downs syndrome. Dallen would call me a worry wart. He might be right but lets not let him know I admitted that, he would get a big head!
 I know right now it might seem that I am out for a pity party but I am not looking for anyone to feel sorry for us because there nothing to feel sorry about. Remington is the greatest baby in the entire world and I am one blessed mommy. Yet the fear of the unknown does keep me up at night sometimes and I know this is normal(even though it makes me feel guilty)! I want this blog to be about the real side of raising a child with super powers and through that I want to be real about the thoughts that go through a parents mind each and everyday. My hope is that someday someone going through something similar to us can read my blog and find peace knowing THEY are NOT alone! 
We love everyone so much and are so thankful for all the love and support everyone is always showing to us. We know that Remington is going to have a great life and will make it through whatever is tossed his way. We know that we are not alone and are not given anything that can not be handled. Remington is such a great example to us all. We feel so blessed to have him in our lives!
Remington's mommy
This is a fortune cookie I got a week before
Remington was born, Just barley
found the picture on my phone!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Baby vs. Crib!

Then battle begins!

Asleep in mommy's arms!
When we brought Remington home from primaries we were still so scared he would stop breathing on us that we set up his pack-n-play next to our bed.This is where he has slept for the first three months of his little life and it was all fine and dandy until about a month ago when he would start waking up at his daddy's snoring! Dallen would say that he does not snore(who is he really trying to kid)! So because I can't rightly put a pillow over Dallen until the snoring stops( in fear that he will stop breathing), we decided to put Remington in his bran new crib! A crib that we HAD to have before he was born, that up until last week had never held a baby! In my defense... I was going through nesting and I wanted to have his room all ready for him to come home( how was I to know that Remington would have such a start)!
 So the first night we put him in and settled down for our nice usual sleep through the night(I know I can not really complain because Remi has always been such a great sleeper)! Remington on the other hand decided that sleeping in his bed was not really an option( he maybe a little head strong like his mother) and because he knows he makes the rules was sure to show us this by getting up every hour on the hour the entire night! So we did what any parent would do on their last thread of sanity.  We put the pack-n-play back up and let the little guy win! As soon as we did this Remington took one great big deep breath and fell asleep!
Remington one...Crib zero!
My worst enemy!
The next day Dal and I both felt so defeated, how could a baby have so much control?  Dallen just kept saying "why would a baby choose to sleep on that hard pack-n-play mat rather then his nice comfortable bed!" So me being a little on the stubborn side myself, decided that there was no way Remington was going to win this battle! I mean he is just a baby how hard could it really be?! So we got Remi all ready for bed, gave him his bottle, read his little story(the therapist says it will help with his speech), sang him his night-night song and rocked the little guy into a deep sleep. I was sure that he was going to at least sleep for a couple hours but I was wrong! We laid him down, got our comfortable cloths on and just sat down to watch Planet Earth(I know we are nerds) When what to my wondering ears do I hear but a little voice coming from the baby monitor! Remington had decided that he was not ready to stop playing with mom and dad. I could not help but laugh because he was being so darn cute. For those of you who don't know I am a weak mommy, Remington just has to smile and I will be sure to do whatever it is I think he wants. Due to this I grabbed him out of his crib and for about two more hours the little guy watched Planet Earth with us! Then we once again put him in his bed got him all nestled in. He was doing great for about four hours and then the DAMN monitor we put on him to check his saturation levels while he sleeps started going off! Not because Remington was having any trouble breathing but because the probe had fallen off his foot. So we had to wake him up to put that darn thing back on(I have a love hate relationship with the monitor)! So once again holding on to the last of our pride, we put the pack-n-play back up! Wouldn't you know it Remington fell into a nice deep sleep for the rest of the night!
Remington two.....Crib zero!!
Remington proving to daddy..
there will be no CRIB!!
Now Dallen and I are both starting to feel like it is a never ending case! Remington had no intentions of ever sleeping in the nice comfortable crib! He would probably be in his teens before he was going to for go his pack-n-play for a bed! What do we do because neither of us are ready to take away the one thing that makes our baby sleep through the night? At this point the pack-n-play was a life line of our sleep! So we did what we do best kept the pack-n-play up for what we both now needed... a good nights sleep!
Remington three....Crib ZERO!!!
This last Saturday Dal and I made a packed that we would not let Remi win, he was going to sleep in that crib if we had to stay up all night long! I am not sure if Remington was understanding us making this packed or if he was just loving the sight of his parents losing their minds to a none sleeping baby but we slept probably about a good two hours the whole night! Remington was sure to show us that if we were going to make him stay in that Crib he was going to give us hell! Yet even though we spent the most part of the day in our beds...Remington did not win the battle of the Crib he slept(or laid) in his own bed the whole night! We both had such a since of accomplishment! 

Remington three....Crib one!!!!
Asleep in his own little bed!
Sunday afternoon we put that pack-n-play all the way away and promised it had seen its last night! Sunday night we stuck to our guns and I am happy to announce that Remington slept through the night in his own room and even slept until about eight-thirty! 
 Remington three...Crib two!!!!!
I am hoping that by writing this blog I am not jinxing a good thing but I am just so proud that Dallen and I made it through our first battle with our child! Look at us... we might actually make it through this parenting thing after all!

Remington's mommy!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Day by Day!

Getting ready for church!
Everyday brings on it's own challenges, adventures, and most of all FUN!! Remington has brought such a new light to our lives! We seriously have so much fun figuring out all the little things that come along with being parents! Remi is getting so big, he is now three months old! He is making GREAT progress he makes me so proud to be his mommy! He is sitting up (with help of course), He has also found his cute little chubby toes and it is the greatest thing watching him try to figure out how to put those things in his mouth! Remington is also laughing and smiling more each and everyday! He can turn my whole day around when I see his little smile! Usually when I get home from work he will smile when he sees or hears me come in! I just love this it makes me feel so needed! It is now football season and Dallen had Remington on his lap watching football bright and early Sunday morning! Remington was born into being a Colts fan his daddy would not have it any other way! They both look so cute watching football together in their colts jersey's!
  Remington has had some trouble passing his hearing test in his right ear so they are thinking he will need to take a brain steam test to see how serious the hearing lose is! We will be doing that soon and I will keep everyone posted as soon as we have more information on that. Its kinda hard to hear this kinda stuff about your child but I know that it could be so much worse! We are so thankful and feel so blessed to have Remington home and doing so well! We know our heavenly father is looking out for us!
Laughing and smiling!
   Other then this we are now on a crazy schedule! Dallen is now working nights and sleeps during the day(well that is when he is not going to school) Dallen is seriously the greatest husband and daddy in the world! I know everyone always says that about their husbands but Dallen seriously works so hard to give us a great life. We are so blessed to have him in our lives! 
 Being back to work has been really nice but hard to be away from my little guy! I sometimes start counting down the seconds until I can get home to him! I have to say it is the hardest thing in the world to leave him everyday but I know he is in super good hands with his gobby (Traci)! I have a new respect for those moms that leave their children after being up all night with them and go to work all day! You Ladies ROCK!!! 
 We are hoping to be in our new place in less then two months and I have went crazy buying decorations and furniture to make it so cute! Dallen has been on honey do shopping trips for the last two months and I am sure he cant wait to just be in the place and have it all decorated! He is such a trooper though and is always so supportive of all my creative adventures! My sister has also been pretty supportive of my decorating, we have been on countless trips to Roberts and Hobby lobby in the last couple months( she might kill me if I suggest to go there anymore)! I honestly find so much joy and relaxation in doing my crafts( I know I am a craft nerd)! Our home will be so cute and I cant wait to start putting things together!
 so cute and ready for church!
 Well that pretty well sums up the last couple weeks for the Butterfield family! We are so looking forward to the up and coming Holiday season and I am sure we will have lots of stories to come. We love you all and are still so thankful for all the love and support you all show to our little family each and everyday!
Remington's mommy